Stand still and watch the salvation of the Lord

This past year was so challenging. I made mistakes, fought and lost battles, and was pushed well beyond my limits. 

I have only 8 more days of employment left and a rent increase that threatens (yet another) move from a home I love. 

So why is it that I feel like I'm present at the beginning of Earth, sitting on the edge of creation, watching as God spreads his artistic science all around, creating this beautiful planet that we all call home? I've always wanted to see that, and here I sit, harried from a tough year, no tangible solutions as to where I'm headed and how I'll pay my bills, and yet I feel like I'm watching God create life itself. 

And all He wants me to do right now is show up and let Him do His thing. 

Okay, God. I'm all in. Just show me which paint strokes I get to play with.

Career epiphany

I had a weird thought today. Weird to me, at least.
I realized that my career ideas have always had a distinct yet nearly subconscious caveat:

"That would do for now, until the real thing falls into place." 

This. This is the thought that I need to pay attention to. This is the reason why I still can't decide on anything. What I really want to do is something that I don't consider a plausible reality for me - what I still don't think I am able or allowed to do - so all of the ideas I'm coming up with in its place are actually just me settling for something else. Something that I can make do with. Again.

Hmm. Food for serious thought.

So I guess the next question becomes: What is that half-formed ideal hidden in my head, and why don't I just jump into that?

Because - if I'm going to go to all this effort to remake my life, why not make it into something I deeply love?

Btw, this book has been immensely helpful in my journey towards healthy work-life integration.

Maybe life isn't about how long you have something, but what you do with it while you have it.

sarah in the bible

Sarah in the Bible.

God promised her something that she desperately wanted but was very hard for her to believe in.
He then delivered exactly as He had promised, but in HIS timing, not hers.

But in the waiting, the long waiting, Sarah's faith faltered, so she used her reasoning and resourcefulness to make happen what God had promised her. Maybe she had thought that God wanted her to make it happen; that His method of providing the promise was through Sarah's own efforts. Can't blame her there. Her intentions were good, but the results were absolutely catastrophic and completely avoidable. They brought her family years of pain and division, and have even carried forward to our present day Middle East conflicts.

Wait for God. Keep talking to Him about whatever you're waiting for. His way always works out the best. Trust God, that He is both faithful and capable. Don't assume He needs you to out-think him.

Wait and see that the Lord is good.

the depth of the waves

In thinking about my current life situation, in light of Peter walking on the sea waves to come out to Jesus:
(Matthew 14:22-33)


While the depth of the waves is incredibly frightening, that depth doesn't actually matter -- since God is asking me to walk on top of them, not swim through them. Whether it is on the shoreline or in the middle of the fierce ocean, the depth of the water truly is irrelevant, just as the depth of Earth's crust is irrelevant when you're walking on a mountain trail. In His hands, in His guidance, I won't fall through, so the depth of the water below doesn't affect me.

Even better, He isn't asking me to step out of the boat and walk in my own strength, but simply in the faith that He is making this miraculous feat possible one step at a time, with every step I take.

I know I can trust him, so this faith isn't misplaced, misguided, or a pipe dream. He is solid, so the waves are solid. Their depth is inconsequential.

The truth is straight ahead, not below or in my periphery. All that is required of me is the same that was of Peter - just focus on Jesus. Look into His eyes and the circumstances of how this victory, this miracle, is possible just fade into the background.

Source

miraculously personal

Miraculously personal.

That's who God is, how He works.

Nothing about Him is half-hearted. generic. one-size-fits-all.

Not only is He competent and trustworthy, and working towards good in every single moment, but He is shockingly, miraculously, personal.

He loves me. The true me, the really real me from my core desires to my newest habits. Me. ME.

And because of this, He knows exactly what is best for me, and how to make specifically that thing come to pass.

I may not know where I'm going or what tomorrow and beyond holds for me, but I do know this. And this truly makes all the difference.

grace

I read something recently that has made me consider grace in a different way. I haven't yet decided if it's accurate, but it had given me a hope-filled pause.

The author first described the standard view of grace in terms that made it something like this: "You are human and will likely fail. But grace has allowed room for that and has forgiven your shortcomings. Now, continue on your journey and try to do better."

Not necessarily inaccurate.

He then went on to describe true grace very differently: "You are human. You will fail. Grace offers forgiveness for your mistakes, but it most importantly offers a helping hand for your journey."

Grace as a helping hand. Not just forgiveness, but something that helps you get back up again and that stays with you, continually helping you.

That seems a bit different to me. A bit more powerful.

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