faith that bleeds and breathes

This post spoke to me. I stumbled upon it somewhere in the rabbit hole of the internet, and it has soothed my soul, exactly the salve of what I needed to hear.

This was like fresh air. Not an answer for the questions I still don't know how to ask, not a solution on how to get out of where I am, just a reminder that where I find myself isn't all that strange a season to be in. Like an encouraging word from a best friend who sits in the trenches with you, who understands that some soul-deep questions can't be answered with shortcuts. That faith is a journey; that where I am right now, this process of understanding grace versus the "clenching of my teeth," is both vital and deliberate.

Without growing pains, we only end up shallow and misinformed. Without pushing through the initial illusions of an easy faith do we begin to arrive at the rich vibrancy of a faith that bleeds and breathes.

[...]

I don’t want to do this to you. I don’t want to appeal to your propensity for a quick easy fix. I would rather teach you how to think than what to think. Because it’s only after you’ve tasted the truth for yourself could you ever fully decide to clamp down upon the meat and digest. Everyone needs to climb their own mountain, or else you shortcut the depth of your own convictions. My role is only to get out of the way and point. Our role isn’t to digest the food for each other.

If it were this easy, it wouldn’t be God who is working but only the clenching of my teeth. Who really wants the quick, pat cliche? Who wants the solution that wasn’t born out of sweat and catharsis? That won’t last past Tuesday. We need blooming and not a bullet.

(J.S. Park)