simple freedom

When you boil it all the way down, it's so simple. 

So very simple.

The most capable and trustworthy being in the universe is saying to me, "Hey, let's go play!"

It's so simple. It's so freeing. I could fly right now.

source unknown

Stand still and watch the salvation of the Lord

This past year was so challenging. I made mistakes, fought and lost battles, and was pushed well beyond my limits. 

I have only 8 more days of employment left and a rent increase that threatens (yet another) move from a home I love. 

So why is it that I feel like I'm present at the beginning of Earth, sitting on the edge of creation, watching as God spreads his artistic science all around, creating this beautiful planet that we all call home? I've always wanted to see that, and here I sit, harried from a tough year, no tangible solutions as to where I'm headed and how I'll pay my bills, and yet I feel like I'm watching God create life itself. 

And all He wants me to do right now is show up and let Him do His thing. 

Okay, God. I'm all in. Just show me which paint strokes I get to play with.

Career epiphany

I had a weird thought today. Weird to me, at least.
I realized that my career ideas have always had a distinct yet nearly subconscious caveat:

"That would do for now, until the real thing falls into place." 

This. This is the thought that I need to pay attention to. This is the reason why I still can't decide on anything. What I really want to do is something that I don't consider a plausible reality for me - what I still don't think I am able or allowed to do - so all of the ideas I'm coming up with in its place are actually just me settling for something else. Something that I can make do with. Again.

Hmm. Food for serious thought.

So I guess the next question becomes: What is that half-formed ideal hidden in my head, and why don't I just jump into that?

Because - if I'm going to go to all this effort to remake my life, why not make it into something I deeply love?

Btw, this book has been immensely helpful in my journey towards healthy work-life integration.

Maybe life isn't about how long you have something, but what you do with it while you have it.